Handling a child custody matter can feel confusing, especially when friends, family, or the internet offer conflicting advice. With so many opinions circulating, it’s easy to misunderstand how custody decisions are actually made.
To help clear up some of the uncertainty, we’ve broken down five widespread myths about custody and explained the real facts behind them. Understanding what’s true can make the process less stressful and help you make the best choices for your family.
Myth #1: Mothers Are Always Granted Custody
A lot of people still believe that courts automatically favor mothers in custody cases. While that perception may have been accurate years ago, it no longer reflects how decisions are made today.
Modern custody rulings focus entirely on what benefits the child most. Judges evaluate each parent equally and look at several factors, such as who handles the child’s everyday needs, the emotional connection between parent and child, each parent’s home environment, and how job schedules affect availability.
As a result, it’s increasingly common for fathers to receive joint or even primary custody. Courts want to ensure children are raised in safe, supportive environments—no matter which parent provides that stability.
Myth #2: Children Can Decide Where They Want to Live
You may have heard that once a child reaches a certain age, they can choose which parent they want to live with. While a child’s opinion can play a role, it is never the only thing the judge considers.
Courtrooms may take a child’s preference into account, especially if the child is mature enough to express their thoughts clearly. But judges also want to understand the reasoning behind that preference. A desire for fewer rules, for example, carries less weight than wanting to stay in the same school or remain close to longtime friends.
In some situations, a guardian ad litem (GAL) may be assigned to talk with the child and provide a report to the court. This ensures the child’s viewpoint is fairly represented without placing them directly in the middle of the dispute. Even so, the final decision is made by the judge, who must evaluate all factors to determine what serves the child’s best interests.
Myth #3: Joint Custody Means a Perfect 50/50 Schedule
The term “joint custody” is often misunderstood. Many parents assume it means a child will spend equal time with both mom and dad, but that isn’t necessarily the case.
There are two types of custody: legal custody, which involves making major decisions for the child, and physical custody, which addresses where the child lives. Parents who share joint custody usually collaborate on decision-making, but the daily schedule may not be evenly divided.
Parenting time depends on practical factors like school hours, each parent’s job obligations, and distance between homes. Instead of forcing an exact 50/50 split, courts focus on creating a balanced routine that supports the child’s stability and well-being.
Myth #4: Full Custody Means Child Support Stops
Some parents assume that if one of them has full custody, child support is no longer required. In reality, custody and support are two separate legal issues.
Child support exists to make sure both parents contribute financially to the child’s needs. When calculating support, courts consider income, living expenses, healthcare costs, childcare, and other necessary expenses.
Even if one parent has primary or full custody, the other parent may still be responsible for providing financial support. The goal is to maintain consistent care for the child—not to favor or penalize either parent.
Myth #5: You Can Withhold Visitation If Child Support Isn’t Paid
This is one of the most damaging misunderstandings about custody. Even if a parent falls behind on support payments, you cannot stop them from seeing their child.
Courts treat visitation and child support as completely separate matters. If support payments are late or missing, the proper response is to go through the court system, not to prevent parenting time.
Judges may enforce payment through wage garnishment, license suspension, or other penalties. However, they do not want children deprived of a relationship with a parent because of financial issues. Blocking visitation can even hurt your own standing in court and may be viewed as violating a custody order.
The safest and most effective way to handle payment problems is to follow legal procedures. This protects the child, ensures compliance, and demonstrates your willingness to cooperate responsibly.
Need Guidance on Custody?
If you’re considering making changes to your custody arrangement or feel your current setup isn’t working, it’s important to talk with someone knowledgeable about family law. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Reach out today to discuss your options. Support is available to help you move forward with confidence and find the best plan for you and your child.